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I can't believe it has been 4 years today -  5th day of our new year 2012, since you were taken to, what I know has to be, such a wonderful place. There are things in my life that I will just never understand...and I guess I'm not supposed to right now on this earth. I just know God took a precious life from us here on earth. You have no idea how much you touched so many people's lives in ways unimaginable. We all take so many things for granted (I know I do) and I'm learning life is not a guarantee for any of us from minute to minute, and we must just treasure every second we have with those we love:) Matt, Please give your Granny and all of those who are celebrating with you a GREAT BIG HUG for me!!! You will forever be in my heart, and I will think of you every single time I see a butterfly! You are now a precious angel in heaven! Love you sweetheart!!! and miss you sooooo much. Your mom who misses your voice so much.

Hi Paula,

Sorry, I haven't written in awhile. But I've been very busy. Not sure if I told you or not, but my Mother who was my rock after Michael died! Passed away on Sunday 26th July 2009! I think I've been on auto-pilot since! I do think about you and Matthew often, but other things always get in the way of me writing. I'm meant to be having my 2nd spinal fusion on Friday October 23rd, finger's crossed. Last time I was in pre-op all day waiting and they cancelled at the last minute! I will try to write soon, I haven't forgotten about you!

You know, I understand exactly how you feel about your son Matthew as I feel the same about my beloved son Michael. Not a day goes by that I do not think about him and wish and pray things could be different I do still cry for him everyday as I'm sure you would for your precious son Matthew. Now obviously I have a new hole in my Heart with my Mum gone too. My one condolence is that I know they are now together! Like just isn't fair that's for sure!
Try to talk soon,
Kind Regards,
Rox

 God took the fragrance of a flower, 

The majesty of a tree,
The gentleness of morning dew,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The beauty of a twilight hour,
The soul of a starry night
The laughter of the rippling brook,
The grace of a bird in flight,
Then God fashioned from these things
A creation like no other,
And when His masterpiece was through,
He called it simply...MOTHER

 

Today I touched your face again and watched you for awhile,
I talked of things deep in my heart and wished I could make you smile,
I rubbed your head and told you, "I`m proud of you MY SON"
For all the little things you did and the way you did each one,
You showed such courage daily and you taught me how to live,
To make each moment count in life and to give what I can give,
Did I tell you "You`re my Hero" when I saw you yesterday?
Or did it slip my mind as I sadly put you away?
I know your time on earth was short, but it's how you lived each day,
You made the most of what you had and always found a way,
You touched the hearts around you, and loved them come what may,
I wish with all my heart right now, the face I touched today,
Wasn`t made of paper or neatly placed away,
But I will put you on the shelf again, for all the world to see,
I`ll talk to you tomorrow, just like I do each day,
And I`ll tell you "You`re my Hero" as I slowly walk away.

....................author unknown

"It's the end of another year and so many thoughts go
swirling through our minds.  For many, it has been a
difficult year - job loss, loss of friends, loss of a home,
loss of health, and possibly one of the most lasting
losses of all - the loss of a child.  For some there will
be no celebration at the end of the year - only a lot
of tears for those dreams that were stolen away so
unexpectedly.
How does a person move on?  How can a person move
into the New Year with joy when so much sorrow
surrounds the heart?  It's not easy, but it helps to
remind yourself often that you are never, ever alone in
your pain.  There are times when we feel alone, but the
truth is that we are surrounded by hope and it is there
for us whenever we call out for help.
Look at nature in any season and be reminded of the
One who is in charge.   Look at the majesty of the
starry sky at night and know that you are counted among
the stars.  Listen to the sounds of the wind rustling through
the trees and hear the whisper of God letting you know He
is by your side.  Look for the rainbow painting the sky
and be assured that you have not been forgotten.  Remind
yourself often that hope is stronger than your pain! "-C. Hinton

"For every tear you cry, there is a seed of hope being watered."

--Clara Hinton

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me."  --Psalm 61:a 

---------------
Clara Hinton

DEAR PAULA,

THINKING OF YOU TODAY, TINKING OF YOUR PRECIOUS MATTHEW, TOO~THIS IS SUCH A DIFFICULT JOURNEY WE ARE TRAVELING, ISN'T IT? A DAY DOESN'T GO BY, THAT WE DON'T CRY FOR OUR DAVID. HIS DAD HAS BECOME SO DEPRESSED, HE JUST IS NOT THE SAME. I KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS, DAILY~KNOW THAT YOUR MATTHEW IS AT PEACE, AS OUR DAVID IS, AND WE WILL, ABSOLUTELY , SEE THEM AGAIN. ETERNITY IS SO MUCH GREATER THAN ANY TIME WE SPEND IN THIS LIFE~WHEN WE GET THERE, ARE PRECIOUS BOYS WILL GREET US WITH OPEN ARMS~GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOUR TENDER HEART~

LOVE & HUGS,

CATHY ( DAVID'S MOM)

Dearest Paula,

I can only imagine all the questions you would have that you'd like your son to answer. No matter what the answers would be, it wouldn't matter now. Matthew is at peace and never again will he get hurt, be unhappy, or be sad.

It's sad for the living because you won't have him in your daily lives, but your all blessed to have him in your heart and thoughts. It's better to have had him for a short time, than no time at all. At least one day you know you will be with him again...Forever...in a peaceful, and loving paradise.

My heart goes out to his four children, because they're young and they may not remember alot about him, and they may not understand why Daddy isn't here to be with them...but them to one day will be reunited with him...Forever...

We're here for each other Paula, just reach out and you will see you have lots of Angel friend families that are so supportive. At one time or another we were fresh Moms who lost a child. It's so important to have support and the security that your not the only one going through this, or that your the only one feeling the way you feel.

God Bless you and may Matt wrap his Angel Wings around you tightly and keep you safe.

Luv and hugs

Donna Mom to http://www.angie-robert.memory-of.com

                      http://www.angie-robert.last-memories.com

                      http://www.polopool@yahoo.ca

PAULA, YOUR STORY OF YOUR PRECIOUS MATTHEW, TRULY TOUCHED MY HEART. I KNOW, FIRST HAND, THE FEELINGS YOU ARE FEELING!! OUR FIRST BORN SON, DAVID, MADE THE DECISION ON APRIL 21, 2006, TO END HIS LIFE. WE WILL NEVER KNOW THE WHOLE STORY, OR THE WHOLE REASON, BUT WE DO KNOW.....WE WILL SEE HIM AGAIN!! YOU WILL SEE YOUR BELOVED MATTHEW AGAIN. THIS LIFE IS SO MINISCULE COMPARED TO WHAT OUR GOD HAS IN STORE FOR US. YOU WILL SEE YOUR MATTHEW AGAIN, HE WILL BE STANDING THERE WITH HIS ARMS WIDE OPEN, WAITING TO HOLD, LOVE, AND EMBRACE YOU, FOR ALL ETERNITY!! BELIEVE IT!! MY HEART HURTS OVER THE LOSS OF OUR SON, EVERY DAY. I'VE CRIED A ZILLION TEARS, BUT ONE DAY GOD WILL WIPE MY TEARS AWAY, AND YOURS TOO, PAULA!! SO CRY IF YOU NEED TO, SCREAM IF YOU NEED TO, BUT KNOW IN YOUR HEART THAT ONE DAY, THERE WILL BE NO MORE TEARS, OR PAIN, OR SUFFERING!! I'M MAKING YOU A PROMISE, TODAY, THAT I WILL NEVER STOP LIGHTING CANDLES FOR YOUR PRECIOUS MATTHEW, EVER!! YOU CAN CALL ME: AT 586-477-9300 OR IF THAT'S LONG DISTANCE FOR YOU, JUST EMAIL ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND I WILL CALL YOU ( OF COURSE IF YOU WANT ME TO ). GOD NEVER PROMISED THAT THIS LIFE WOULD BE WITHOUT HEARTACHE AND PAIN, BUT HE DOES PROMISE, THAT IF WE JUST TRUST HIS SON, WHO DIED FOR US, AND HIM, THAT IT WILL BE WORTH IT ONE DAY! THAT DAY IS COMING. WE MAY NEVER MEET FACE TO FACE IN THIS LIFE, BUT ONE DAY, WE WILL CELEBRATE TOGETHER AS WE ONCE AGAIN, HOLD OUR BOYS IN OUR ARMS!!

LOVE AND BIG HUGS TO YOU!!! I'M HERE!!

CATHY ( MOM TO DAVID GIRAUD) http://david-giraud-1973-2006.memory-of.com

 

Today marks the 5th month that you have been gone.  I still believe it is a dream, I hope that one day you and I will see each other again.  I wrote this poem for you.  I want you to know that as painful as it is...

I want you to be happy.

From Earth to Heaven
© By: Paula Miller - Mom 
Written: June 5, 2008

 

There is earth and now there is Heaven.

On earth you were loved,  and happy, and 

now you are in heaven singing, playing, and being joyful.

Even though you are not on earth with us,

we are still feeling pain, sorrow for the loss of you;

but we know that one day we will be

together again. 

When you left this earth, you took along a part of all

of us to keep you happy; and yet you changed us forever;

things are not the same.  Our hearts are in such pain and our minds

think about you all the time and remembering the things that made

you happy when you were here on earth. 

 

We miss your hugs, and smiles, your voice and that little laugh

that you do, and your voice so kind and soft spoken.

Have a good day my angel son.

I love and miss you so much. 

I know you will always be at home wih me

in my heart and mind.

Don't worry about us Son, just look down on us once in awhile

and smile; and to make sure we are safe.  Rest in peace now.

See you later,

 Mom